AGONY TO ACTIVISM: My Revenge Porn Story - a Guest Blog by Leah Juliett, Miss Greater Rockville

Note: This article is a compilation of social media posts from Leah Juliett. 

Content Warning: This article depicts situations of suicide, tech-based sexual abuse (TBSA), image-based sexual abuse (IBSA), and child sexual abuse material (CSAM)

This is a string of messages from one of the first times I was asked for nude pictures as a fourteen year old on Facebook.

I’ve never shown these before. These messages are only a few of the many increasingly pressuring interactions with my perpetrator. This is where the story starts.

When I talk to children and teens about sexting and consent, I talk about the manipulation tactics used to convince vulnerable youth into sending intimate photos or videos of themselves to persons (often men) who are preying on them. This is an example of that manipulation.

When I initially said no he questioned my commitment, told me I was unworthy, called me a whore, and told me he missed me. This wasn’t the first or the last time he asked.

I was asked for nude photos for over a year before I complied. Each time I refused, I was told that I wasn’t good enough, I was a disappointment, or I was a tease.

This is how bad people hurt you. This is how they convince you that you won’t be loved unless you share your body. This is how they prey.

I am proud of myself for taking a stand and saying no for so long, and I am not angry at myself for eventually giving in. These messages are what started my story of victimization and survival of child sexual trauma and tech-based sexual abuse that went on for years.

One of my greatest fears in sharing this (and the subsequent photo of myself at this age) is that I will be told that I fed into his manipulation tactics, that I was a willing participant, and that I was old enough to know better. Let’s be clear. Anyone under the age of consent is not old enough to consent to their body being put on display. This was not my fault. And it’s not yours, either.

By the time I was fifteen years old, I’d sent four nude photos of myself to the boy who’d repeatedly asked for them. I made him promise he wouldn’t share them with anyone. He laughed at how silly I could be to assume that he would.
As soon as I’d sent the photos, his immediate reaction was to ask for even more intimate images of me. I refused. We stopped talking and I started showing interest in other people, including eventually starting to come out as gay. That’s when he got angry.

He shared the photos of me around my school, and eventually they were posted on an international anonymous image board where they could be shared, distributed, and trafficked forever. My photos were categorized by my name, my town, and my school. My face was fully visible. I was trapped.

The photo above features real screenshots of men asking for my photos online circa 2014.

For the next few years, I suffered in silence knowing that my photos were circulating online, but unable to do anything to stop it. I fell into a deep depression mixed with suicidal ideation, intense anxiety, and PTSD. My first year of college, I abused alcohol and self-harmed frequently. I believed that I’d never be successful or able to escape a lifetime of slut-shaming. I was unable to breathe.

At this time in my life, I only saw the internet as an unsafe place. I changed my name, silenced my voice, and made myself small so as not to be victimized further.

The single most transformative moment in my life was when I opened my laptop and saw the man who’d exploited me online staring back at me. His mugshot, all over my Facebook feed, told me that he was on the run for sexual assault of a minor.

In that moment, I knew that silence no longer served me. I knew that I had to speak.

I started by writing a spoken-word poem, then an essay, about my experience with tech-based sexual abuse. I posted the article online and began to perform the poem at poetry slams, including the Brave New Voices International Slam Poetry Competition in Washington, DC.

That poem is now five years old. If you’ve seen my TED Talk or have heard me perform the poem live, you know that the text is different now, many of the words have been changed and have grown with me. Even so, I’m in awe of my younger self, who wrote this while living through sexual trauma. In fact, my nude photos lived online for two more years after this poem

was written.

My entrance into activism was accidental — I took a used poster board and wrote “End Revenge Porn” in big, bold letters. I marched to the White House and stood outside the gates, holding my sign and screaming my poem, for all those around me to hear. I did not think that this would start a movement — but the freedom I felt from using my voice and publicly telling my story galvanized me to keep fighting for change.

But I didn’t stop there. August 12, 2016, at nineteen years old, I founded March Against Revenge Porn –– my first major organizing project. I spent the next few months organizing and planning the march entirely on my own –– contacting the press, getting permits, speaking with agencies, and planning the route. It was an overwhelmingly healing task.
On April 1, 2017, I led our first march across the Brooklyn Bridge to City Hall Plaza in New York City. We were covered by national and international press outlets, including CNN, who filmed and recorded this video segment.

After appearing on CNN, March Against Revenge Porn began to gain even more traction, receiving messages from victims and survivors around the world who’d seen our segment and wanted to join the movement. Seemingly overnight, we became a global activism and social justice campaign, featured in remarkable places like foreign newspapers and magazines, podcasts, morning news shows, and even the Snapchat Explore Page.

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Several months later, I was contacted by the office of New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio and was told the Mayor was passing legislation to criminalize revenge porn in New York City. I knew that our march had shifted the narrative around tech-based sexual abuse.

But we didn’t stop there. Over the next few years, March Against Revenge Porn hosted and organized marches in Pittsburgh (covered on MTV’s “True Life”), Orlando, and Boston. We were featured in a viral BuzzFeed video, a Seventeen Magazine video series, a TED Talk, and on nightly news programs nationwide and in Canada and the UK. We were global.

What started as a march across the Brooklyn Bridge has turned into an international movement fighting tech-based sexual abuse.

But we’re not stopping there… our plans for 2021 are to grow our global movement and mobilize our supporters while aiding victims of revenge porn through new and comprehensive measures. 
ANNOUNCEMENTS
March Against Revenge Porn is proud to announce that we have achieved 501(c)3 status and are a federally-recognized nonprofit organization. With this recognition, we can expand our access to grants, fundraising, and opportunities to connect with the public. 

We are overjoyed to have grown our team of staff and board members, including our Executive Director, Associate Director, President, Vice President, Secretary, Treasurer, Director of Victim Support and Services, Social Media Manager, Director of Events, Director of Communications, Director of Policy and National Outreach, and Leadership and Capacity Manager. With these new positions filled, we are thrilled to be holding greater space for victims worldwide and increasing our reach. Meet our staff on our website. 

March Against Revenge Porn is honored to have recieved $10,000 from L’Oreal Paris, which we are putting towards our Legal Defense Fund and national protest marches. Victims can apply through our website to receive payments of up to $500 towards their legal fees and representation. We believe that the path to justice should not be met with financial barriers, and we are prioritizing victims and survivors of marginalized identities and who face financial insecurity.

We have major plans for 2021, including partnerships with influencers, organizations, legislators, and corporations, virtual and in-person marches and events, a new ambassador program, legislative action, curriculum, research studies, more podcast episodes, expanding our victim support capacity, and more! 

Some cool new things to check out on MarchAgainstReve
ngePorn.org
Call on Congress : Call your federal representatives using our script to ask that they support the SHIELD Act
Activist Ambassadors Program :  Are you an influencer or activist who wants to support the fight against revenge porn? Become an Activist Ambassador!
March Across America Podcast : We are virtually marching across America through our new podcast series, interviewing victims and survivors of tech-based sexual abuse from all 50 states. 
Mask Against Revenge Porn: Support March Against Revenge Porn while staying safe with our new masks! Proceeds support our Legal Defense Fund.

Thank you for supporting March Against Revenge Porn through the last 4.5 years of advocacy and grit. This year marks my 10 year anniversary of victimization –– and I am deeply proud of this full-circle journey.

To learn more, visit www.marchagainstrevengeporn.org

With Kindness and Appreciation,
Leah Juliett

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I want to thank Leah for allowing me to share their story. To find out more about Leah and their actions, visit their Section 36 Pageants profile page for links and more info.